Name: Bieber, Justin
D.O.B: March 1, 1994
Aliases: Bieber Fever, Why god why?, musical holocaust
Distinguishing features: The voice of a constipated pig, protected by an army of pre teen females referred to as “bieberettes” – will kill in order to protect their overlord
Wanted for: Crimes against Music
Suspect is considered tone deaf and EXTREMELY dangerous. Members of the public are advised to contact local enforcement if spotted and are urged to wear ear plugs for protection of cochlea if within a 5km radius of the assailant.
Reward: Honorary Order of the World and $300,000,000
Name: The Dinosaur, Barney
D.O.B: 265000 BC
Aliases: Dino Killer, Don Barney
Distinguishing features: Fluffy purple skin, ability to speak, strong command of the english language
Wanted for: Causing the mass suicide of his ancestors by utilising an uncanny ability to sing as a weapon of mass destruction, believed to still be in possession of WMD. Also believed to be operating a counterfeit jeans racket from a undisclosed cave near the outskirts of the A.C.T. Also under investigation over accusations of child abuse.
Known Associates: Baby Bop, BJ and Riff
Suspect is considered annoying EXTREMELY dangerous. Members of the public are advised to contact local enforcement or wildlife authorities if spotted and are urged to wear ear plugs for protection of cochlea if within a 5km radius of the assailant.
Reward: Honorary Order of the World, eternal gratitude and 10 boxes of authentic Levi Strauss jeans